Aiden: "You Dodger?"
Dodger: "Well, well. The Pilgrim himself. Here's a piece of advice. The next time you offer someone water, ask if they're thirsty first."
Aiden: "What's your problem?"
Dodger: "My problem is whole tank of agua fresca that nobody wants to buy anymore."
Aiden: "I just want to ask you a few questions."
Dodger: "Are you shitting me? Do I look like an information booth? I've got a business to run here. You don't have business? Then get outta my face."
- Aiden: "(I'm looking into a flour theft.)"
- Aiden: "(Quit barking and let me talk!) Quit barking and listen."
- Dodger: "And if I don't?"
- Aiden: "Then you won't find out that Teresa's flour is gone."
- Dodger: "What the fuck are you talking about?"
- Aiden: "(Know where Teresa's son might be?) Know where Benny might be?"
- Dodger: "Do I look like his mother? Believe me, he's on top of my 'Where are they now?' list. Went down in flames in our last card game. He almost literally bet the farm... and lost! So if you're looking for that flour, it's not Teresa's or Benny's no more. It's mine. The kid owed it to me. And if it's missing, it was stolen from me!"
- Aiden: "Ah ha. So Benny is in your debt."
- Dodger: "Big time. Up to his ears, you might say. In flour."
- Aiden: "You think he stole it?"
- Dodger: "Could be. He's a dumb kid who might think that'll stop me from trying to collect."
- Aiden: "I need to find him, then."
- Dodger: "Ask Mother Teresa. She's usually got the boy on a short leash. Except for poker nights. Clearly."
- Aiden: "(Tell me what you know about Anna.) What do you know about a woman named Anna?"
- Dodger: "What? The one who works for Teresa? Not all that much. Used to play cards with her husband, before he, you know, bit it. He never said boo about her. Not even a few pints in. That says something, right there. So now you know, I have the most skin in this game. That flour isn't found, I'm the big loser. So maybe check out Teresa's storehouses. Seems like just the place a dumb kid like Benny would think he could hide. And if you do get your hands on the flour, just kindly bring it straight to me. I'll pay ya handsomely for the service, of course. It'll save everyone a lot of grief, and hey, I get my flour, we can put this behind us."
(After speaking to Benny and Teresa)
Dodger: "Let's make things lively. One hundred more."
Urban: "No frickin' way. Unless you're willing to cut the time by ten seconds!"
Dodger: "Deal!"
Urban: "Livin' dangerously! It was already an impossible task."
Dodger: "We'll see about that! Aiden! Find my flour yet?"
Aiden: "That's what I'm here about. Teresa and Benny are in dire straits. Can you forgive their debt? Or at least give them more time?"
Dodger: "Fuck that! How many times do I have to say, I'm not running a charity! I didn't force Benny to play cards. You know, a man can't pay his debts, well, he's not a man, is he?"
Urban: "Stupid is as stupid does. Maybe when they got nothing left but the skivvies on their butts, they'll have learned a valuable lesson."
Dodger: "Know what, Aiden... Actually, I think I got something to help everyone. Honestly, who cares about flour. I'm gonna be baker alluva sudden? I don't think so. But I do want what I'm owned and me 'n Urban we got this bet..."
Urban: "Wait! Whoa! No fair. Not him! He runs on walls!"
Dodger: "Of course it's fair. Ain't no rules against having him get'em. Pull this off Aiden, and what Urban'll have to pay me will more than cover my losses on the flour. And there'll be extra I can throw your way."
Aiden: "What exactly are you talking about here?"
Dodger: "You see, on top of the church, there's this, well, let's call it a flag. Can't see it from the ground, but this flag, well, it's not a flag... You'll know it when you see it. Urban and I made a bet that I could find someone who could nab it for us. I've been raising the stakes for years, and Urban's called me every time. With the amount on the line now, it'd be a sin not to give it a try."
Urban: "Eh, I'm in no hurry. Rather you just keep raising the stakes, til it gets real juicy."
Dodger: "What's that? Fear suddenly got you all puckered?"
Urban: "Nah, I'm just looking out for you. It'll ruin you if you lose now, bein' out the flour and all..."
Dodger: "I'm game if Aiden is. The time limit's pretty fucking brutal, but I got faith in Aiden here. You in?"
- Aiden: "(I'll do it.) Let's do this."
- Dodger: "Then let's just get to it, shall we? Three... two... one... go! Andale, Aiden! Make me proud!"
- Aiden: "(Let's settle this another way.) I don't have time for games. Let's figure something else out."
- Dodger: "Ehh, a cryin' shame. Our bet will have to wait. But that flour's worth a lot, Aiden. For me to forget that debt, you'd have to make me whole some other way. And I mean whole! Unless you tell me where the flour is. Because in that case, I'll just send my men to retrieve it."
- Aiden: "(Tell him it was Teresa.) Fine. The flour is by the Water Tower. Teresa hid it there."
- Dodger: "Figures. Thanks for the tip. I'll go round up some guys with shovels. They'll take back what's mine. Thanks, Aiden. You did good. Urban, you coming with me?"
- Urban: "I'll, uh, supervise. But no digging for me. Bad back."
- Dodger: "You're one lazy bastard, you know that, right? Take this, my new friend. You saved the day."
- Aiden: "(Pay Teresa's debt.) Okay, I'll pay you."
- Dodger: "Great. Bring me some loot and I'll forget the debt."
(If chosen to do the challenge)
Dodger: "Did I tell you, Urban? I told you! Been waiting years for this! We've got a winner! The Undie Challenge has been conquered! Way to go, Aiden!"
Urban: "Alright, alright. Don't get so excited. You're ugly when you gloat, you know that?"
- Aiden: "(What's the story behind this 'flag'?) What's the deal with this 'flag'?"
- Urban: "It's a pair of Carl's old undies!"
- Aiden: "You put Teresa and Benny's life at stake for some old underwear?"
- Dodger: "This was more about the bet itself. But the undies are symbolic. There's a great story behind them, too. No one remembers when exactly, but long ago, a wild wind blew Carl's laundry off his line and it got stuck on the roof. Carl wanted mount some big mission to rescue his clothes. Can you believe that? Everyone refused, of course. No one could climb that high. Off and on, a good wind would sometimes bring down a sock, maybe a shirt. But Carl's undies stuck there, flying proud. Urban bet me that I would never find someone who could fetch them for us. But I did!"
- Aiden: "(You'll forgive Teresa and Benny's debt now?) You'll cancel Teresa and Benny's debt now?"
- Dodger: "Like it never existed. And you, my new friend, you saved the day! Take this with my thanks."
(If chosen to pay off the debt)
Dodger: "And? You still mean to pay Teresa and Benny's debt? You got the goods?"
Aiden: "Yeah. Sure."
Dodger: "Excellent. Case closed."
Aiden: "You'll leave them alone now, yeah?"
Dodger: "Mother Teresa who?"
|